The Last House on the Left

*spoiler warning*

The 2009 remake of the 1972 original The Last House on the Left is definitely not for everyone, but it is relatively accurate to the original material.  The new movie replaces a good measure of the original's gritty, heavy material with some much-needed big-screen modern glitz, camerawork, and special effects, but ultimately, they are roughly the same.  The '72 version is perhaps a little more impactful in its unblinking observation of the terrible things that happen to Mari and her friend, but the aged quality of the film and cultural differences between 2009 and 1972 are very hard to see past if you aren't used to movies from that time period.

Generally, horror movies receive lower IMDB and other rating site scores than other genres, by a full point on average.  Because of this, finding the good horror movies is a difficult challenge.  While there are some innate problems with this movie in terms of composition and flow, I must highly recommend that it be viewed.  This is, however, still shock horror, so it is not to be watched by anyone who doesn't want to see depictions of incredible cruelty.  

So let's talk rape.  Central to this movie and the original is a very brutal rape/murder, or murder one girl then rape another, scene.  Honestly, I didn't expect it to make it into the movie intact, from the original.  And, well, it *almost* made it intact.  This is probably the most brutal rape scene in a widely released American movie that I have seen in the past 15 years.  The original movie's scene was perhaps a little worse in terms of sheer carnality, but the filming was not as well done, so I place these two scenes as relatively equal.  Most moviegoers won't be ready for the new scene, and if all of the little gut-wrenching details from the first movie were captured, I'm not sure this movie would have made wide release in the current atmosphere.  The '72 version and I Spit On Your Grave both did a fantastic job of portraying a terrible, terrible event, and using it to great effect.  The 2009 The Last House on the Left does so as well, and if it's toned down, it's by no more than 15%, which is made up for and easily forgiven by the quality of the production.

The plot, for those unaware, is as follows, from IMDB:
"After kidnapping and brutally assaulting two young women, a gang led by a prison escapee (Dillahunt) unknowingly finds refuge at a vacation home belonging the parents of one of the victims -- a mother (Potter) and father (Goldwyn) who devise an increasingly gruesome series of revenge tactics."

Eh, relatively accurate, IMDB.

As far as performances go, I was impressed!  Each character is well done, and painted as a unique individual with likeable nuances and quirks.  The badguys range from pathetic (well done!) to wicked (well done!).  Mari and her friend seem believable enough as teenagers trying to enjoy life in a small and boring town.  Everyone did a great job, and I think the director was able to masterfully focus on his best performers and use judicious camerawork to denigrate the effect of some of the unpolished acting that could have otherwise marred this movie.

Overall, I'd rate this movie 8 out of 10.  For a horror movie with nobody I've ever really seen in anything else, it's pretty damn good, and stacks up to the original fairly well.  Is the original better?  No, but only because it's so dated/low production quality.  A line by line remake of the original, updated for 2009, with the same actors probably would have had an edge, but this was still really good.

MPAA rating: R (for sadistic brutal violence including a rape and disturbing images, language, nudity and some drug use).
Running time: 1:40.
Opening: March 13.
Starring: Sara Paxton (Mari); Martha MacIsaac (Paige); Garret Dillahunt (Krug); Tony Goldwyn (John); Monica Potter (Emma).
Directed by: Dennis Iliadis; written by Adam Alleca and Carl Ellsworth, based on Wes Craven's 1972 film; produced by Wes Craven, Sean Cunningham and Marianne Maddalena. A Rogue Pictures release.

Though many Street Fighter fans would shriek to hear it, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li wasn't a terrible movie.  It was bad in parts, but it had some merit as well.  When compared to the original Street Fighter movie starring Van Damme and Raul Julia, this new addition to the Video Game Movie genre suddenly seems like an instant win, but, most things look nice next to wet cat shit.

Before dissecting the negative, some solid, good choices made by the producers and crew should be examined.  

Casting Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li was a very solid choice.  Nobody who would ever be eligible to appear on the screen (read: has an "in" to Hollywood) looks even 90% as close to a young Chun-Li as does she.  No faults of this movie were wholly her own, and she should appear in more movies, very soon.

Casting Michael Clarke Duncan as Balrog was a good choice, Robin Shou as Gen, really good, and even Neal McDonough as Bison was not completely terrible. 

However, it became completely obvious that Chris Klein should never appear in another movie.  Watching any scene with him in it was an uncomfortable and shameful event.  He is easily the most unwatchable actor I have ever encountered, and this performance only paralleled in horrific over-acting by Dominic West in Punisher: War Zone (I hope they both either stop making movies or die tragic deaths).  How can you be given as cool a character as Nash and completely blow it?

Also, highly disappointing was Vega, who, if you've seen the Anime movie of Street Fighter II or played any of the video games, has an awesome persona and an incredible fight with Chun Li.  Not in this movie.  No dramatic fight, just an underinspired roof chase and really lame fight.  What was that mask?  Who is this guy?  Never cast him again for anything, please... it's understandable to go for the dollars the crowd of idiots who like the Black Eyed Peas, or maybe giving a hollywood friend a role, but, for the love of God this guy sucks a dick as Vega.  Whoever made the mask should get a new job, too.  

Other cringe moments included the spinning bird kick multiple opponent disarmament in the night club, and many of the plot decisions that seemingly make the rest of the Street Fighter series pretty much impossible to pull off with any semblance of accuracy to the original games or even anime series.

The scenes between Gen and Chun-Li were actually well done.  Also impressive was the portrayal of Bison as a true-to-the-game hardcore badguy with no remorse.  It's very unfortunate that he won't likely be back for another movie.  Work much harder on fight choreography in a movie called "Street Fighter".  More fights would have been welcome, as well, honestly, and less unnecessary gunplay.  Why do people like Brandon Lee get shot to death on set but turds like Chris Klein somehow survive?

Overall, the movie outdid expectations.  Mediocrity is the best we could have hoped for from a video game movie.  When will Hollywood learn to involve real fans in these projects from the ground up, and to stop handing roles out as favors to friends?

It would be nice if they made more Street Fighter movies, but they need to learn from the mistakes of this installment, or those movies will all be straight to video.